Now that I am back on MySpace/Facebook, I don't exactly need this blog. Sure, I can repost the same blogs that I do on the other sites, but I have two followers on here (Hello Beth, Mike) and both of you can read blogs in the other places. The other people who stop in occassionally (Hey Deanna, Sarah) can and probably do read the other blog as well.
So... this might become my frustration forum. I hope you don't mind if I am majorly negative on this blog. I will be happy sometimes, too, but I feel more comfortable venting in this blog than the others. Deal?
To start with, I am having a body image complex. Add this one to my list of insecurities. The worst part is that I haven't had this issue since I was ten and hanging with baby fat. Sure there are times when I am like, "WOAH! love handles!" but typically it is a passing thing and I love my curvy imperfection.
Ever since this summer though.. the issue has become obsessive. The funny thing is, though, that it is only in my head and I do NOTHING about it. That includes all things healthy or unhealthy. I don't exercise, I don't starve myself. I don't eat healthy, I don't binge.
I just wallow. And it is pathetic.
I need to regain my self confidence somehow. Probably by forcing myself to do those healthy things, huh?
Well,I gotta run. Baking cookies.
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3 comments:
Doing all those healthy things won't necessarily change your body image, but it will help you feel healthier. I think what you need to do is treat the root of the problem, not the symptom...and I think only YOU know what that is.
Also, I find blogger quite the blessing when it comes to "negative" blogs. I started my first blogger account for just that reason!
I'd love to give ear to your rantations via this wonderful blog. I enjoy your thoughts, whether they originate from mirth or mire.
As far as your body image complex goes, I wish I had something groundbreaking to tell you that would rescue you from the pit of your insecurities, but I don't. I have body image issues, too, and I've taken a similar passive approach to remedying them. I don't usually think about it much until I feel real lonely or get rejected by a girl, at which point I usually point my finger at my disproportionately graced mid-section and shout curses.
To whatever extent my words can be of comfort, I would say that I think you look absolutely lovely. There is a warmth in your smile that communicates a hospitality and grace that not only demonstrates your own inherent exterior beauty, but reflects the wondrous beauty of the love you have for people. This is something that even the "hottest" of bikini models couldn't even begin to hope to show with their body. And your eyes--both your physical eyes and aesthetic eyes--are wonderfully appealing and attractive.
Everyone's body is imperfect in some way, and the rubric of which imperfections are satisfactory to the eye are largely a matter of cultural or personal subjectivity. But I don't think that a woman's exterior beauty is calculated based on the proportion of perceived beautiful characteristics and ugly characteristics. I think that every human body, male or female, teaches us something about beauty, and we need to be open to its lessons.
Sorry for rambling, but I really want you to know that I think you're absolutely beautiful. You, too, Beth (if you're listening in). Both of you girls are absolute gems. Don't be afraid to use not just your minds, but also your bodies to teach us what true beauty really is. :)
Thanks, friends! Love this, Utz, "I think that every human body, male or female, teaches us something about beauty, and we need to be open to its lessons."
The root... that is the question.
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