I want to be real.

To Maintain Sanity (or what is left thereof)

End of Year To-Do:

Complete the Talon!
Finals
-Methods Curriculum: write two justifications. Due tonight.
-Reading/Writing Essay Final
-Am Div Final Discussion: prep
-Methods Philosophy Paper
JET
-Find doctor who takes insurance. Make appointment.
- Get full physical. Pay for it??
-FBI background check
-IRS form
Start/finish independent study
-Read Five Chapters
--Chapter 3
--Chapter 4
--Chapter 5
--Chapter 6
--Chapter 7
-Write Five Chapter Papers
--Chapter 3
--Chapter 4
--Chapter 5
--Chapter 6
-Design an entire test with no classroom instruction. Sweet.
-Write Philosophy Paper
Moving
-Sort Stuff: To Take, To Store, To Sell/Give Away
-----Kitchen Stuff
-Yard/Living Room Sale
-boxes, boxes, boxes

Tulip Time :)

My brother is the sweetest guy on the planet. He knew I enjoyed the Tulip Festival last year, and that I didn't have anyone to take me this year, so he organized a little Tulip Event for us to go with a group of his friends.
Other than the traffic (don't get me started), we had a really great time. :) I wish I knew these lovely ladies a little better, but I am glad they are taking care of my lil bro. As for Paul... well, he's just great. :)It was such a lovely day, too. I am so glad we got out and enjoyed it. It is so easy to get discouraged with all the photography stuff, but I am ready to change my attitude about that. To heck with the pros and the cliches and the expectations. I take photos because I love it, because it is my favorite form of expression, because life is beautiful, despite, and through, the imperfections.

more photos

A small prayer

As much fun and as freeing as it is to be single--and believe me, it is--on days like today, when my body aches and my spirit is low, I remember that I really do want that other thing.

Yeah, that relationship thing.

I want someone to care about me when I am not vibrant with charm, twirling about the dance floor with confidence, or bouncing about exuding happiness. I want more than friendship. More than dating. More than this nothing.

God, I am acting out of obedience to you. I am leaving my friends, family, life here as you have called me to do, as I have know I would do since I was 11. I know that you will provide in your time, but I feel like I have waited so long already. Please bless me, Dear Father. Please let me be loved.

A Receptionist's Dilemma

On Saturday mornings such as this one, I work at a small chiropractic office just a few minutes from home. While sitting at this computer, I greet a variety of patients--couples, families, lawyers, insurance brokers, students--and I can't help but be a little curious about their lives. As they stretch and fill out paperwork, we usually exchange a few words, gradually getting acquainted through the weeks. Some patients are more civil than others and some are downright friendly: I can't help but look forward to their appointments more than the others.

One such woman, I will call her S, has only been coming in for about two months, but she is so spunky and chatty that I already know her better than those I have seen every Saturday for a year. She is a thin, older, organic-only woman who always sort of wooshes up to the counter, squintingly smiles at me, calls me "dear," and strikes up an animated conversation about the weather, her weekend, dancing. She loves that I dance and says she has always wanted to try it herself. So two weeks ago I gave her the website for Century Ballroom and encouraged her to check it out.

The next week, S came with another woman, introduced her as her roommate, and started to tell her about Century. The woman also seemed interested, but a little concerned.

"But would they mind? If we danced together?"

As the realization of their relationship sunk in, I smiled and said of course not--there is a female couple in my lindy lesson, and I even lead my friends sometimes. Inwardly, I was surprised at how easy it was to respond.

Through the rest of their time in the waiting room, I talked and laughed with them and watched the way they interacted. They joke about how they have lived together so long, fifteen years, that they sound like each other, and are even starting to sound like their parents. They tease each other and laugh at themselves. They genuinely care for each other.

So, how do I react to these women? How should I feel about them? If I had the opportunity to tell them about Christ, how would I do it? I know that the issue of homosexuality is a particularly live one, and I have taken some small time to consider it and confirm the mainstream opinion of the church, that homosexuality is a choice, a sin. But is that really right? And what does that mean in everyday life?

I know that I should these women as, as his unique creation who he loves, and see the 'sin' as something separate, but is that really possible? And can I even really see the relationship between these women as something evil?

Strangely, a part of me feels like I should be judging these women--like that is the right thing to do, but I can't bring myself to do it.

Have I become too accustomed to the things 'of this world?' Am I so used to seeing men walking around capitol hill holding hands that it doesn't faze me anymore? Or is there more to this?

Japan = New Blog

I am in! Woo hoo!! Goin' to Japan-uh huh, uh huh!

So I have a new blog: http://genkigaijingirl.blogspot.com/

The title is a work in progress. :) I plan to continue posting non-JET stuff here, but we will see how things go.
Follow my Japan blog!