I'm a Creep.

warning: adult language

http://www.noob.us/entertainment/homeless-guy-does-awesome-cover-of-creep/

Something about the way he sings this song is totally enrapturing. I can't stop listening to it. 

4 a.m.

TTD 5: Just a Glance, originally uploaded by ReBekha Michele.

I updated my flickr with some photos from Martha's Trash the Dress session. We had such a blast!

This photo is one of my favorites --despite the poor vignetting. I so desperately need and desire photoshop software... soon I will have money. soon.

:) Anyways, I should sleep. I have been on the computer MUCH too long today.


Goodnight, all!

Photosession Ponderings

Thief, originally uploaded by ReBekha Michele.

This is my youth pastor's darling baby, Kendra. I did a photoshoot with her and her two siblings for a couple hours on Sunday night and had a total blast! We shot in their yard (which just borders forest land--lots of trees and flowers!) and then in their living room with the best overcast lighting coming in their giant windows and a satin sheet spread out on the carpet. :) Talk about your make-shift studio!

I am extremely happy with the outcome. This is my first paid child/baby photoshoot, and i was pretty nervous. Plus, my poor over used camera has been crying for maintenance which I simply can't afford. However, I walked away with over 600 photos to sort through, and will proudly award them with about 250 tomorrow. Not bad. :)

However, I did spend about... oh... nine... ten? hours in the last two days editing these photos! That is a LOT of time! And only 60 of them are edited as fully as I prefer. Ugh.

I get totally carried away in the process and five or six hours can pass by without notice, but then at the end of the day, as I sit here looking back on my day, I have to grimace. Ten hours? I don't have that time to spare!

Finances are also a serious issue here... I love this family and I am happy to go the extra mile for them. They have done so much for me throughout our time together, and they cooked me a lovely meal after the photoshoot to top it all! BUT, I need to really consider the amount of time I can spare, and the amount of money I should charge, because for just anybody, $50 for 15 hours of work... doesn't pay.

So... that is what's on my mind at the moment. :) I don't regret plugging the hours into these photos. Like I said, I am happy with the outcome (which you can get a peak of on my flickr if you click the photo), it is just something I need to think about for the future. :)

Ugh, it is so late. And my eyes burn from all this computer-starring.

Hope you are having a lovely morning/afternoon/evening, dear reader(s)! :)

p.s. is "photosession" one word or two? what a bother.

Sunlight Waits

It is past 3 a.m. in Idaho, but I am still awake.

Apparently I love sleep deprivation and an endless cycle of pain. :P

This is just a short post to share a favorite photo with you, my single reader, Bethy. :) ha ha, and anyone else who drops by. :)

Sunlight Waits, originally uploaded by ReBekha Michele
This photo is particularly meaningful to me tonight (this morning) because it partially captures this strange place I am in. I can see the sunlight at the top of the stairs (happiness in Okinawa), but the stairs themselves are covered in stuff, overgrown, creaky... a little terrifying.

There is so much to do to prepare, and I don't even want to think about the goodbyes...though the mental slide show of faces keeps me up at night.

Summer

Summer, originally uploaded by ReBekha Michele.

I need to create a photography website, but am completely lost.
Any suggestions?

ee!

Something Special

Thatcher's bench, originally uploaded by ReBekha Michele.

Inspiration Returned. :)

Thatcher took me to his aunt's the other day, and she has this lovely old house in Ballard which is full of antiques. I whipped out my camera and stole a few photos, and the lighting, the setting, the mood was so perfect.
I wish I had even more time to photograph every inspiring detail. Maybe he will take me back there. :)

Click on the photo for a few more, or visit my flickr.

I want to tell you how I feel.

about this moment

about this week

graduation

goodbye

japan

but all

I can choke out

through this awful mess

is "I'm Sorry" and "Someday"

I want to be real.

To Maintain Sanity (or what is left thereof)

End of Year To-Do:

Complete the Talon!
Finals
-Methods Curriculum: write two justifications. Due tonight.
-Reading/Writing Essay Final
-Am Div Final Discussion: prep
-Methods Philosophy Paper
JET
-Find doctor who takes insurance. Make appointment.
- Get full physical. Pay for it??
-FBI background check
-IRS form
Start/finish independent study
-Read Five Chapters
--Chapter 3
--Chapter 4
--Chapter 5
--Chapter 6
--Chapter 7
-Write Five Chapter Papers
--Chapter 3
--Chapter 4
--Chapter 5
--Chapter 6
-Design an entire test with no classroom instruction. Sweet.
-Write Philosophy Paper
Moving
-Sort Stuff: To Take, To Store, To Sell/Give Away
-----Kitchen Stuff
-Yard/Living Room Sale
-boxes, boxes, boxes

Tulip Time :)

My brother is the sweetest guy on the planet. He knew I enjoyed the Tulip Festival last year, and that I didn't have anyone to take me this year, so he organized a little Tulip Event for us to go with a group of his friends.
Other than the traffic (don't get me started), we had a really great time. :) I wish I knew these lovely ladies a little better, but I am glad they are taking care of my lil bro. As for Paul... well, he's just great. :)It was such a lovely day, too. I am so glad we got out and enjoyed it. It is so easy to get discouraged with all the photography stuff, but I am ready to change my attitude about that. To heck with the pros and the cliches and the expectations. I take photos because I love it, because it is my favorite form of expression, because life is beautiful, despite, and through, the imperfections.

more photos

A small prayer

As much fun and as freeing as it is to be single--and believe me, it is--on days like today, when my body aches and my spirit is low, I remember that I really do want that other thing.

Yeah, that relationship thing.

I want someone to care about me when I am not vibrant with charm, twirling about the dance floor with confidence, or bouncing about exuding happiness. I want more than friendship. More than dating. More than this nothing.

God, I am acting out of obedience to you. I am leaving my friends, family, life here as you have called me to do, as I have know I would do since I was 11. I know that you will provide in your time, but I feel like I have waited so long already. Please bless me, Dear Father. Please let me be loved.

A Receptionist's Dilemma

On Saturday mornings such as this one, I work at a small chiropractic office just a few minutes from home. While sitting at this computer, I greet a variety of patients--couples, families, lawyers, insurance brokers, students--and I can't help but be a little curious about their lives. As they stretch and fill out paperwork, we usually exchange a few words, gradually getting acquainted through the weeks. Some patients are more civil than others and some are downright friendly: I can't help but look forward to their appointments more than the others.

One such woman, I will call her S, has only been coming in for about two months, but she is so spunky and chatty that I already know her better than those I have seen every Saturday for a year. She is a thin, older, organic-only woman who always sort of wooshes up to the counter, squintingly smiles at me, calls me "dear," and strikes up an animated conversation about the weather, her weekend, dancing. She loves that I dance and says she has always wanted to try it herself. So two weeks ago I gave her the website for Century Ballroom and encouraged her to check it out.

The next week, S came with another woman, introduced her as her roommate, and started to tell her about Century. The woman also seemed interested, but a little concerned.

"But would they mind? If we danced together?"

As the realization of their relationship sunk in, I smiled and said of course not--there is a female couple in my lindy lesson, and I even lead my friends sometimes. Inwardly, I was surprised at how easy it was to respond.

Through the rest of their time in the waiting room, I talked and laughed with them and watched the way they interacted. They joke about how they have lived together so long, fifteen years, that they sound like each other, and are even starting to sound like their parents. They tease each other and laugh at themselves. They genuinely care for each other.

So, how do I react to these women? How should I feel about them? If I had the opportunity to tell them about Christ, how would I do it? I know that the issue of homosexuality is a particularly live one, and I have taken some small time to consider it and confirm the mainstream opinion of the church, that homosexuality is a choice, a sin. But is that really right? And what does that mean in everyday life?

I know that I should these women as, as his unique creation who he loves, and see the 'sin' as something separate, but is that really possible? And can I even really see the relationship between these women as something evil?

Strangely, a part of me feels like I should be judging these women--like that is the right thing to do, but I can't bring myself to do it.

Have I become too accustomed to the things 'of this world?' Am I so used to seeing men walking around capitol hill holding hands that it doesn't faze me anymore? Or is there more to this?

Japan = New Blog

I am in! Woo hoo!! Goin' to Japan-uh huh, uh huh!

So I have a new blog: http://genkigaijingirl.blogspot.com/

The title is a work in progress. :) I plan to continue posting non-JET stuff here, but we will see how things go.
Follow my Japan blog!

Excitement Factors

What I am looking forward to in Japan
-sushi, duh
-adventure
-blogs worth reading
-a good excuse to post excessive stati (he he) and video updates. I love video updates, but who wants to watch them when I am just talking about the most recent book I read or yet another night of swing dancing? But culture shock and adventures on the other side of the world? Now that is worth watching.
-sushi.


p.s. No, I don't know for sure whether I am going, but how can I look at all these promising eggs and NOT anticipate chickens??

learning, cleaning

At the end of a very full, very exhausting conference I ponder this thing called literature.
How can a simple story, parable, novel, phrase prod so much research, introspection.

I just, just--as in the moment before I clicked my "blogger" button--finished The Secret Life of Bees. Today alone I read about half of it. I sat at the reception desk at my doc's office: reading. I waited for my adjustment: reading. I walked all the way back to campus: reading. I even walked my bike up from the dorm bike racks... you guessed it...
My nanny kids were a little upset with me this afternoon when I couldn't pull my nose out of this book to play with them every moment, but I did manage to rip myself away every so often to tickle Sammy, chase Brendan. The book was, is, just so, so GOOD.

I need to re-read it to fully grasp what this thing in the pages that is pulling at my chest, draining out my tears, but I already know that it is what I need. It is brokenness, I have so much, and it is love, I want so badly. And more.

For now, though, I am going to clean, because that is what I do. A busy little cleaning bee.

The inner edge gradually engulfs the soft-fuzzy exterior.

I don't know whether I want to break out or implode. I want to love Jesus, for sure, and live for him but I feel like I am closer to moral melt-down than missionary status.
I am exhausted from fighting off my sinful nature every day. I fight and fight...
I do.
Why is it so hard to give up control? Of course I can't make it long on my own. *sigh* Sunday school answers hitting hard once again.

In reality, I am far from any sort of major faith catastrophe, but I am just so sick of numb, or worse.

mehhhhhhhhhhhh

curious stranger

curious stranger, originally uploaded by ReBekha Michele.

This little guy made my weekend--coming up to say hello during a photo shoot. :) See my flickr for another pic of him in B&W.

I kind of want to stab myself in the eye at the moment. Don't ask why.

On the other hand, my Palestinian pen pal wrote me back! yay!

And Lisa and I had a super fun photo shoot around Seattle. double yay!


Life is beautiful, even if I don't deserve the eyes to see it.

recovering :)

Ah.... smell that? that is... scent! For the first time in a week I can smell! I owe it all to these incredible Vaseline Tissues. Have you ever heard of such ingenuity?? seriously.

I haven't really done anything but watch old episodes of Scrubs and chick flicks this weekend, and it is paying off! I am going to be better. I am.

Interview is wednesday. So excited! I will be healthy, well-dressed, well-slept, and prepared by then. I will.

Now I am watching more Scrubs and getting ready for bed. My mind isn't functional enough to actually make a point, yet, but at least I am not as crazy as Dr. Cox. ha ha oh... Dr. Cox. :)

hi!

My back is BURNING right now (can you die from icy hot?), and I am still TOTALLY jazzed up from the concert (Broken Social Scene--Canadian indy, eh?), so I am going to say hi! HI!


Ooh, know what else? I might dance three nights in a row! Kind of insane? Yes. But, totally worth it. At least it will get my mind off of JET-anxiety for a bit. :)

ehhh. For some reason that fact that I haven't touched my camera in 2 weeks and need to furnish an entire paper's worth of photos just come to mind... shoot. :(

Welp. on that stressful note. I am going to go... dance?
yea, dance. 2:40 is ripe for rockin'!

Terrifying Telephone

I got a phone call today which stopped my heart.
An unknown number, a friendly message, and instant panic.

The message was from Lynn (sp?) from the JET program. She isn't a frightening person, I have met her two or three times and she is always lovely, but her message couldn't have frightened me more. Nothing to designate the reason for the call, nothing to indicate her intended message, only the words, "call at your earliest convenience. I will be in the office until 6 tonight." BUT WHY???

Suddenly, I knew there had been some mistake. Clearly, she re-examined my application and decided that I never should have passed the paper stage. I am doooooommmmmed.
So I called her back. No answer.


I waited.



I called again. No answer.


I waited. I ran errands. I lost track of time. Shoot! She said before six! So at 5:50 I called again. An answer!

And, just as Suzan (my advisor/life-saver) reassured me when I called her panicked, it was nothing bad at all. Turns out that my appointed interview time is the very first of the session, and so Lynn was calling me to make sure I was okay with that and to let me know what that means. Apparently, all the other interview boards of the day will be in the room during my interview, observing and learning the interview process. Staring at me. Blankly. Yea... not intimidating at all. However, Lynn put a positive spin on things: she will be a friendly face in the room, as will Suzan, and otherwise it would just be me and three strangers. *whew*

So, I am still terribly intimidated about the interview in general, extra intimidated about nine extra faces in the room, but excited to get the interview out of the way as soon as possible so I can wait anxiously for two exruciating months!

Wait a minute... :P

That said, here is my class blog for the week:

What is the best way to overcome the fear of writing?
The best way to overcome writing is, in brief, to write.
To write for fun.
To write without purpose.
To write without editing.
To write about life, and about pain, and about the simple moments of life.

What can I do in the classroom that will help students address their fears/anxieties about writing?
Let them get to it--encourage open, free writing which eliminates the stigmas and to give assignments which foster growth through exploration and freedom. A.k.a. utalize that free write method I keep reading so much about. :-)

The C word.

I am confused.

Confused by an acquaintance who would bother to "cut me out" when we have exchanged nothing but pleasantries.

Confused by this driving need to be accepted.

Confused by a friend who I care deeply about, who fought for our friendship when I didn't think I could ever look at her again, who I have been through so much with, and who can no longer make time to spend an hour with me.

Confused by how much that hurts.

Confused by this overwhelming wish to start over.

Confused by various completely contradictory desires.

Confused by the very nature of relationships.

Confused by my insensitivity.

Confused by my inability to fall for the One who won't crush me for once, though I see His beauty every day.

Confused by the pain.

Confused by my heart.

Confused by joy.

Confused.

So terribly confused.

Hello, Palestine.

I am so about my new pen pal! For one of my TESL classes, Professor Kobashigawa is working with her friend, Debbie, in Palestine to pair us up with Palestianian students to email. My pen pal is named Maysoon and I am going to send her an email tonight! I cannot wait to hear about her life and share my life with her, but I am also nervous. I started to read Debbie's blog and am already recognizing how terribly sheltered my life is, how thoroughly my worldview will be challenged, and how much my heart will break for this woman, for those people.

More in that familiar theme I have been blogging about. God is really working to break down my cultural barriers, eh? I know he is preparing me for something huge after graduation, I hope I can keep up!

blahdey blah-blah

I already journaled most of my TESL stuff for this week so I am going to blog about... something! Yay!

he he.

It is snowing. Did you know that? I did. Because if it sticks at all, it may ruin my plans tonight. But, so far, the roads look pretty good. I.must.dance! I didn't go last night, because I took a nap and lost all motivation.

I need to study. The problem with a light course load is that there is no fear. The looming panic of last semester forced productivity but now it is like, "who cares? I have like 2* classes." *exaggeration

(subject change) I am so thankful for the honor of worshiping at University Presbyterian Church. I have finally gotten into a little routine there and feel quite at ease. I am learning more and more names, and every new person I encounter is wonderfully friendly. My heart is happy. I just wish Beth were there. So does someone else (who won't shut up about it. ;P)

Today, my routine progressed as usual: wake up before the sun, carpool to Seattle, prepare bagel/cream cheese, warm up, sing 1st service, Starbucks, sing 2nd service... but here the routine ended. You see, usually, I sit through the 2nd service to hear the sermon, but today, the four cups of coffee made a rapid exit quite necessary. So, instead of sitting with my fellow choir members, I ended up in the foyer with the stragglers catching the sermon over the speakers. This situation worked for and against me. I enjoyed my seat, grabbed a(nother) cup of coffee, and relaxed away from public view, but then I noticed the children. Everywhere around me were the cutest kids of varying ages and, predictably, I couldn't keep my eyes off of them. *sigh* You see, for years now I have had a biological, chemical, uncontrollable response to little ones. Friends have referred to it as "quivering ovaries" (sorry, awkward) but I think it is just pre-maternal instinct. :P

So, I caught snipets of the sermon and appreciated the great word brought by the lovely (female-yay!) associate pastor, but mostly my eyes welled up with pure longing. Pretty silly, pretty pathetic, but this is my outlet for honesty so I am just gonna be straight with ya: I wanna be a mommy.

*ahem* changing the subject... I am supposed to be studying right now, but you already know why I am not. I better get motivated or I am going to be in big trouble this semester! my final one! woootz

p.s. I may miss graduating with honors by .004 points on my GPA. I hate French.

I love tracking themes throughout my classes, conversations, life. It really seems as though we operate within some form of collective unconscious, or perhaps it is just my single conscious that pinpoints these themes and stores them up for contemplation.

This week, the week of M.L.K. and Yes We Can, I contemplate what Julia calls "worldview collisions." I have collided worldviews quite often in my short 21 years. From elementary with mostly Mexican immigrants, to wrestling calves with wranglered cowboys, to getting the smack down on the reservation, to barely-tolerant Idahoan small towners, to excessively cool and refreshingly diverse Seattle, my little worldview is barely able to repair itself before crashing with another. Now, I am preparing for the biggest collision of all, and I can't wait! For, indeed, how CAN we grow outside of these collisions? If I sit here on the cozy lil NU campus forever, my subconscious stereotypes and prejudices are likely to never be erradicated.

All these thoughts swirling. Still not making much sense... but it is nice to get them out somehow.

In other random news, I am in the process of selling one of my photos! A total stranger on facebook sought me out because he saw that photo on a mutual friend's page and wants to buy it! I am still trying to figure out how much to charge, etc., but I am thrilled and incredibly proud. I posted a few extra pictures on my flickr page if anybody wants to see them.

If any of you want to buy prints from me, just let me know. ;) I will make you a sweet deal.

Alright, off to the homework world now, I suppose. I need to read the right book for class so I can wirte a paper on it this weekend.

Tomorrow, I dance. :D

My Vanity

In my Teaching Reading for ESL class today, I learned that I read the majority of the wrong (dull, dry, boring) book. LAME. The actual required text is pretty interesting and engaging. Now I have to read it and write a paper on the right text by next week. *sigh*
Silly me.

Ehhh, I am so over-committed. I already dropped a frivolous class and quit the play (:( ) but I still don't feel like I can get it all done in the next three months. Arg! I want to dance tomorrow... but I have to design my photo journal, finish all the photo editing, make some money, and do homework. Sad. I guess I will have to wait until Thursday. ;)

I need to blog more often for my Writing class so here are the rest of this week's questions:

What methods have worked for me?
My writing always improves when I read good literature. This directly relates to what we discussed in Teaching Reading class today, but it really is applicable. For instance, when I started reading excellent blogs, like Debbie's, Michelle's, etc, my own blogging improved.

I also benefit from freestyle writing exercise, or stream-of-consciousness writing. It forces my thoughts out onto paper so I don't get hung up on the little details. Then I am free to return to editing later. This may not always be effective with ESL students, but it could force them to move away from their dictionaries and experiment with the English language.


What are my likes and dislikes about writing?
I love to tell stories. Memoir is probably my favorite creative writing genre. I suppose I am pretty vain to assume that people want to hear about my life, but I just love to tell about it. I tend to be a bit facetious, so my memoirs may be a tad more fictional than literal, but I try to stay true to the spirit of the events. ;)

As per academic writing, I guess what I really enjoy is the formulas. Often times I see academic assignments more as a math assignment than a creative expression. I get a thrill out of breaking apart a problem or assignment and attacking and solving it. I am not sure I am attacking this particular question very well, though.


Well, friends, I hope you don't mind my using this blog as the outlet for my TESL blogs, but at least this will guarantee that I will actually post once in awhile, and I will try to include something profound or clever once in awhile. Not that I should assume you want to hear what I have to say.. ah, there goes that vanity again.
Happy Inaguration Day! (I cried when he walked down the street... oh, if only I could blog about THAT.)

Writing and Me

Hello lovely friends,
Today is just what I needed. After work, Beth and I made breakfast (so good) and then snuggled up to watch YouTube videos. So much fun!
Other than that.. I have done next to nothing. ;) Sarah and her friend Danielle stopped by for a bit, I checked Facebook about nine hundred times, and I am currently watching "The Sister Act."
I have felt so alive the last couple of days. Dancing every night, making great friends, getting out and having adventures, enjoying my classes, excelling at work, ignoring the newspaper... but now it is time for reality. The reality is: I need to somehow take a bunch of photos by Monday. eck. It is also time for serious homeworking.

One aspect of that homeworking will take place here: in my blog. For "Teaching Writing for ESL" we are to keep a journal so I am going to post it here. Feel free to read or not. I will be writing about other, life stuff, too. :)

What are my strengths in writing?
I consider my academic writing style to be concise and clear. Whenever possible I prefer to write the minimum requirement and express my point without superfluous information.
Through blogging I have developed the skill of storytelling. Friends have commented on the conversation tone of my blogs and my ability to express my joy for life. I trust my friends' opinions.

What are my weaknesses in writing?
While I consider brevity a strength, it may also serve as a weakness. Often, writing tasks require elaboration which I often don't provide.

Wow, that was dry. :) But at least it answers the questions.

How will I improve my writing skills?
I want to get better by reading more excellent literature--learning from the pros--and writing more often. Oh, and paying attention to what and how I write (Except for within this blog. :P)

More of that "Something Special"

I have had an excellent (yester)day (as detailed in my MySpace/Facebook blogs) and these wonderful (re)discoveries added to that joy:

1. I DO want more than mediocrity. Sarah, hello dear love, has been encouraging me to seek more, to want greater, to seek for more than I am settling for in my relationships, my life, my character, and, finally, it is taking root. I want to surround myself with people who, like Sarah, want more for themselves, and for me. Hence the "Done with "friends" who aren't really" blog. This week, I have not only removed the hindrances to my growth, but I have recognized more of those people in my life who allow me, help me to grow. People who, to some degree, encourage me to be more, better, stronger, more Godly. Thank you, Friends.

2. I am not afraid of getting sick of sushi (it is just too darn good), I am not (that) afraid of the culture shock, I am definitely not afraid of karaoke, but I am afraid of an experience like this (from The Water is Wide by Pat Conroy):
"Even though I was on Yamacraw, I was not of Yamacraw. My first overtures of frienships with the people on the island, although not rebuffed, failed to win me any friends wth whom I felt completely comfortable.... The loneliness was beginning to shred my nerves.... By placing myself on Yamacraw , I was denying my natural gregariousness and my compulsive need for good friends" (102-103).
Conroy describes his experience teaching on a remote, isolated, culturally-distinct island off the coast of S. Carolina. Not exactly suburban Japan. But he said it exactly.
I don't want to be alone. I don't mean romantically (that is a whole other beast) but relationally, in any way. I cherish relationships; I thrive on interaction; I, naturally, need people. Sure, I will make friends, eventually, but I can't help but recognize the immense cultural and ideological barriers which stand in the way of that real relationship I crave. Even if the Japanese people like me, they aren't likely to accept me. Even if I am placed with other Westerners, they aren't likely to be Christians....likely. There is a chance I could be completely wrong, but that hardly matters. Isn't that the way of fear? It breeds on probability.
And past experience.

3. I need Jesus. Yep, knew that. But I (re)realized it. This fresh realization may even require a presence in chapel... we shall see. ;)

4. I also need to go to bed before 2 a.m. if any of the above is going to make any kind of difference. :P Sleep, then life-changes. That is my new motto.


So, to you all, a happy, fresh, lovely, joyful, good night,

The Inner Ring of Swing

In the swing world there are levels--a hierarchy of sorts. In the first couple of months, I progressed rapidly through the ranks. It seemed I had a knack for this dance thing and each time I went back I had improved dramatically. Then, I hit the platau of death. I don't feel much improved since... Oh, August. It can be quite discouraging.
To make matter worse, I feel like I have been on the fringe of the inner circle for months. I've been dancing around the edges, peering in at the glamor and skill of the Anointed Ones, ocassionally glimpsing their world through a stolen dance, and unexpected hello.

Tonight, one of Them, a Swing Diva if you will, invited me to her birthday party. Oh, I am sooo in. I feel like the nerd who just got invited to the homecoming party by the head cheerleader. heh.

The coolest part is that we are going to "Lindy Bomb" Seattle. In other words, we are going to dance out in the rain, on the streets, in a busy area... to, of course, overwhelming applause. People of Seattle, prepare to be wowed!

*eee* I am absurdly excited!! I hope I am as "on" as I was tonight. Nothing could stop me! :) Nothing WILL stop me.
*maniacial laugh*
:)

I am soooo done. Done with "friends" who aren't really.
Done with lying to myself.
Done with false fulfillment.
Done. done. DONE.

Goodbye, lies.

I can't blog.
SO many words. All of them with stage fright.

Just know that I was low, but He has raised me up.

Time to be transformed.

p.s. I am pretty sure that French class screwed up my chances to wear a pretty rope at graduation. Damn.